Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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