apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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