Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Your tits are I can't wait for
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
