meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
