i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
