i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
