You're my little dorito
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
