i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
