Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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