You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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