So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
