just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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