It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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