4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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