We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
