Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
3 2 1 whiskey
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
