Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
now i know why i became what i already was.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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