i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
