JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
