I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
