i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
