Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
