Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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