the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm bleeding and have questions
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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