I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
