You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
