awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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