That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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