pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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