For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize