That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
