If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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