I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
