never play flip cup with pint glasses
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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