I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
