DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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