i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
