ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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