Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
