God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
