I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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