I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
