You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
