In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
