If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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