I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
