Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
