Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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