dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
