I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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