I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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