someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
