so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
either way he was missing a nipple.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
