get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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