I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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