You're so nebulous sometimes
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
