i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
