I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
