the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She bit a glass in half.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
